"My family and I started showing symptoms of stress."
I am a mom who has accompanied a very special daughter for 19 years. My daughter was diagnosed with autism when she was little less than 3 years old. For my family and me who were unfamiliar with even the term autistic, this incident has completely shaken us.
My life as a battle has started from that time. I went to work in the morning, no sooner I arrived home after work in the afternoon then my child and I went to the speech clinic, followed by ABA class, and completed her homework from OT clinic late until after 9 pm. This repetitive lifestyle built around her therapy continued for a few years, but my daughter didn’t seem to be getting any better, my family and I started showing symptoms of stress.
When was the last time our family smiled at looking at one another’s face? We blamed, even hated one another. We hurt one another as if we were stabbing thorns. Therefore, the seemingly unending and excruciating battle between my husband and our old daughter vs. my special younger daughter went on, but the outcome was always the time of emptiness, confusion, anxiety, and fear. These painful battles have taken several years and then starting one day…a tidal wave of thoughts buried me alive to give it all up and vanish.
" Great people visited a deficient person like me and rendered crucial help."
Depression…I couldn’t feel anything, couldn’t find a meaning in anything at all. I just wanted to drop everything and disappear. Around that time, I met Jesus. The gospel broke my levy and flooded me with a river of tears…I found light of my life, while being deserted in a dark sea at night. And our life with Jesus who came to our family has begun.
I was getting back up from my collapse, receiving intense love for someone who never had any support or comfort before. I became energetic again. Great people visited a deficient person like me and rendered crucial help.
A different battle now started, but I was not anxious or afraid this time. And another few years have passed like this…there has taken place a change in my family. My family has become organized and settled in a loving atmosphere. Even for our family the seeds of love, respect, and trust have started sprouting.
Even though this benign battle is still going on… Imagining wishfully that these sprouts turn to a beautiful tree with pretty blossoms and precious fruits…even though I do not know what is ahead of our path together, I deeply love my special daughter who accompanies me in this journey and send her my heart full of gratitude.