At first, my life didn’t seem to be affected by my daily use of pain pills. I passed all of my classes and none of friends or family realized that I was using. However, I had been using pain pills on a daily basis for 2 years at this point. I began to realize that if I stopped using them even for one night I would experience serious withdrawal symptoms. In my head, I knew that I had a deadly serious addiction but I didn’t want to admit it.

By the time I finished graduate school, I was such a mess that I could barely sit through class before running home to take pills. I used during my graduation, I used when I went home to visit family, and I used just to be able to go grocery shopping. I realized that I had to get sober in order to get a job and be successful in my chosen field.

I made countless attempts to get sober. I would quit for a few days, give up, feel bad about myself, and try again. I was stuck in this vicious cycle over and over. I felt like Bill Murray’s character in Groundhog Day, yet was incapable of learning any lesson. I never considered suicide, but I had given up on any hope of ever getting sober and I had began to accept that my addiction would eventually kill me one way or another.

I came across the idea of the Vivitrol shot one day while doing internet research. At first, the idea sounded too good to be true. I didn’t trust that a medication existed that could take away opiate cravings while also making it impossible for me to feel the effects of an opiate high. I called my medical insurance to see if they would cover it and I was told that one clinic in Buena Park might be able to help me. All I needed was to be sober for a couple weeks before receiving the injection. I gave them a call while I was still very skeptical and made an appointment for the next week.